Hey, guys!
You know, after my mother passed away in 2009, the stories I had to tell were many. I told them how she grew up a strong, independent woman, who NEVER gave up on herself or others. I told them how strong she was as a wife and mother. I often bragged of her strength during her courageous battle with cancer. However, there's one story I've held near and dear to my heart, keeping it to myself...Until now.
In 2009, I watched my mother, best friend, and the strongest lady I ever knew, fight the battle of her life. When I was told that she only had six months to live, my faith, and every security I ever knew was shaken to it's very core. In my eyes, this was impossible. Sure, my dad was given the exact same news in 2001, and passed exactly six months later, but...In my mind, this was different. Was he a strong man? Absolutely. Was he a brave man? I can't think of a man more brave than my father. However...He wasn't my Mom. I viewed my Mom as the "Unsinkable Molly Brown". Every battle she fought, she won...Except her battle with cancer.
After many health battles, and a long stay in a rehabilitation center, she came home for what would be the final time. I hired two ladies to help me as there was no way I could possibly be with her twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. For two days after her final return, she was great. She ate...She laughed...She was happy. On Tuesday morning, she woke up ill. The Hospice nurse came, and provided her with what she thought she needed. It didn't work. Nothing did. As the day progressed, so did her sickness. By midnight, she had slipped into a coma and was no longer responsive. I held her hand and I thanked her for not only being my mother, but for being my very best friend, and for taking care of me for twenty-five years. I told her that she doesn't have to stay. That when she fell asleep, she'd wake up, and there would be Grandma, Grandpa, Dad, and more importantly, Jesus would be there. Shortly after, she took her final breath. When we turned the lights on, this woman who had been in so much pain and agony, had the biggest, most beautiful smile on her face. I instantly felt a peace that I had never experienced before.
The next day was Thanksgiving, and I honestly can't remember one single thing that happened. All I could think about was having to tell my mother "goodbye" one final time on this side of Heaven. When I showed up for her wake, my heart sank when I looked at my mother laying in her casket, without that smile on her face I had seen the night of her passing. That night, I sat there, dazed and confused...Trying my best to be a great host, and thank people for coming, and being a part of my mother's life. The next day was her funeral. I sat there stone-faced as I tried to hide the hurt and pain. For the most part, I was majorly successful in hiding my hurt feelings. Then, came the service at the mausoleum. The final song was sung, and last prayer was prayed. As everyone else got up and walked out, I, along with my brother, remained. I believe we were the only two that realized what was happening. After that casket closes, there will be no more opportunities to see her...To touch her...This was it. Finally, I came out of my daze, and walked up there to speak to my mother face-to-face one final time. I told her I loved her, was proud of the fight she fought, and as I always done, thanked her "for taking care of me for twenty-five years". As I turned to walk away, I saw her with my very own eyes smile THE BIGGEST SMILE I'd EVER seen my mother smile. I couldn't believe it! I turned to my brother to see if he had fainted from seeing what I had just seen. His face was stone cold. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. I walked out of that place with a smile that no one could remove.
I remained in our family home for three years after her passing. In those three years, many small things happened. Things would move. Things would turn around. Her Bunn coffee pot came on one day by itself, causing me to unplug it and take it directly to my neighbors house. To this day, that is why I'm so interested in the paranormal. Before my mother's passing, I'd spend countless hours watching Ghost Hunters, but, never experienced anything first hand. Now, things are different. The paranormal does exist, and more importantly, the fact that my loved ones are near me, exist as well. I often worried once moving half way across the country that I had "left mom and dad" behind. Recently, she proved me wrong, when she hid her wedding band set. I had pulled out the box the rings were in. When I opened it, the rings were gone. I was frantic. "SOMEONE STOLE MOM'S RINGS!!!" Then, I realized "this could be something totally paranormal..." I told her "If you bring them back, I won't do anything with them. I'll keep them just the way they are!" Two weeks later, when I picked up the box to throw away, I felt something inside. When I opened the box, there they were. I couldn't believe it. I just smiled and said "Thanks, Mama"
In closing, I want you guys to know this...I'm sure many of you have lost a loved one. I'm also sure the pain you feel is beyond words. However, I'm also sure the ones you miss so much is right by your side. They're there with you. They may have passed away, but, they're not in your past. They're still with you, looking over you, leading and guiding you. It took me a long time to understand this, but, now that I "get it", I'm truly unstoppable in how I feel. When you miss them-Talk to them. When you need advice-Look for it. They may very well give you the answers you're looking for. Until next time...Be strong.
Happy Seeking!-
Comments